The Tao of Steve

Not exactly the hit Netflix TV series…

During the repetition of the Musaf Amidah on Rosh HaShanah, there are 3 themes: “Malchuyot” (Soverignty), “Zichronot” (Memories) and Shofarot (Blasts of the Shofar).

In this year’s rendition, there were three big moments for me, today.

The first came during the reading of the Haftarah for the First Day by my friend Jemi, telling the story of Hannah. Though, honestly, it wasn’t Jemi’s voice I heard chanting the words. It was (and probably always be) my dear friend Joyce Gruschka from my shul in the Bay Area.

Joyce went to Olam HaBah a few years ago. She also had terrible stage fright and so every year she would get “Super Verklempt” and she would start the Haftarah in a somewhat strong but often quivering voice, and by the end it was like Joyce had shrunk into herself and often you could barely hear her (very long) Haftarah.

At the end of the Haftarah, Joyce would come down off the Bimah and literally collapse into her seat with a huge sigh of relief, as if she’d gotten through it one more time.

Joyce (and her late husband John, two of PSC’s founding mrmbers) were watching today from Gan Eden, for sure.

The second moment was for me a bit more personal. Because as part of this Haftarah, there is a “biblical cliffhanger.”

Back in Grad School at HUC in Jerusalem, a dear teacher of mine Yossi Leshem taught this course in the Book of Samuel, and he ended the class one time with a question, “Why is Samuel called Samuel?” And he pointed to this specific verse from today’s Haftarah. For those that don’t know, my Hebrew name is Shmuel (Samuel)

One might expect from context that the verse translates as “Hannah cried out (to be able to have children) and God HEARD her.” But it’s actually a bit of a play on words. It really translates to “Hannah (from God?} asked? It’s not exactly clear who was doing the asking, and who acted on the request. I kind of like the  Midrash that Hannah was an active participant. There would be no hearing unless she had taken it upon herself to ask. I know, a bit in the weeds but I think about it every year when this verse from the Haftarah is read.

The last big moment for me was when we got to the Piyyut in the Musaf Repetition of the Amidah, called “Ve’eh’tayu.” This was the first time I had heard it since Mom, Sherri Lipman started on her journey to Gan Eden this summer. In fact, I spoke about this in the eulogy I gave for Mom at her funeral in July.

No question for me, and those that know me, this was “Mom’s moment” when she sang in the choir with Cantor Philip Moddel at my childhood synagogue, Temple Beth Emet in Anaheim.

One year, at my Bay Area synagogue, I happened to be sitting near my childhood friend Betty Kaufman and we happened to skip past it. Betty looked at me and I looked at Betty and I shrugged my shoulders. “We skip it” I silently mouthed to her.

Most places today sing it to a snappy little melody. But that’s NOT my Mom’s melody. Mom’s melody was a soaring soprano rendition composed in the 19th century by Louis Levandovsky.

Every year, my ritual was to call Mom, right about now, as I came home from shul to ask one question, “Mom, did you blow out the rafters?”

She would usually say something like, “Of course” and then we would switch to some other important topic like what was she bringing to Leslie Cravitz ‘s house for the family Rosh Hashanah dinner (her famous chopped liver?}.

So, for sure this year me and the people that knew my Mom were thinking about her on this page of the Machzor.